Oh my gosh, thank you wyndyacre for noticing that and bringing it to my attention!!! I just emailed her so hopefully she's still got some left. Grazie mille!! Julianna, who hopes she can give Munchkin some good news this weekend

How does your husband feel about taking in just the kids? My BIL and SIL are bipolar. We've seen so much with them! As long as your daughter is NOT taking her meds, she'll never have a "normal" enough life. She'll never get her life back on track. My first priority would be my grandchildren cuz they're too young to help themselves and have no choice but to live this life of hell. Maybe talk to your husband about taking in just the kids for awhile until your daughter gets her life together and starts by helping herself first. It must be really hard for her to do so with 2 kids. That's if she WANTS to help herself! My brother and his wife have full custody of their two grandchildren (3 and 6), been almost 2 years. Their son is a drug dealer (the father) and the mother is a bipolar drug addict. They are not together as a couple and never have been. The youngest child was born a crack baby. The son doesn't do drugs, just sells it. My SIL fought tooth and nail to get both the mother to sign over parental rights. The family has been through hell and is still going through it because no matter what the mother does to screw up her kids' lives, the law is on her side. The father, however, can only have supervised visits cuz of the way he treated the mother. He slapped her once to "snap her out of a fit" while she was high. He has "straightened" her out several times but she keeps going back to drugs. Fast forward to today.... the father is a good father to the kids (actually the oldest is not his bio child but he loves him like his own) and does everything for them. They are spoiled rotten! The mother calls the oldest and tells him lies about his grandmother (my SIL) and tries to get him to spy on them for "ammunition against them". My SIL then tries to explain to him why his mother is acting like this but that she still loves him. The poor kid is so screwed up emotionally that he wants to talk to a judge cuz he says he doesn't know who to believe anymore and knows a judge wouldn't lie. He's had counsellors before too but the mother is just damaging him so bad. So much so that just yesterday, in fact, my SIL went to court to get a court order for the mother to have "no contact" with her kids. She didn't win cuz she didn't have enough evidence. She has appealed. I told my SIL that she should have the oldest talk to this judge so she could see for herself. With Children's Aid, the courts, etc.... it seems that they protect the mother more than they protect the kids. Which is a real shame! It seems that Children's Aid, the court, etc., seem to "forget" that the youngest was born a crack baby! The mother has more drug charges then the father, including other charges, and still the law is more on her side! The only reason why my SIL and brother got full custody of the kids was because my SIL found out that the mother was using someone else's urine for her mandatory drug tests. Just before they were to enter the court room, my SIL's lawyer requested a drug test (hair) right away. Test proves positive and her lawyer told her she'd lose the case so make it easier and sign away her rights. And she did. All the best to you! Check out these sites. It might be helpful. http://www.raisingyourgrandchildren.com/ http://www.usa.gov/Topics/Grandparents.shtml

YOU MUST FOLLOW THESE STEPS EXACTLY. 1. Put her to bed as using normal bed time routine. 2. When she gets up out of bed, tell her, "No, it's bed time", and put her back to bed. 3. When she gets up, tell her "Bed time" put her back to bed. 4. When she gets up...just put her back to bed. Repeat step 4 until she goes to sleep. SHE WILL GO TO SLEEP EVENTUALLY. You may have to repeat step 4 for a couple of hours. Do not let her wear you down or it will take even longer. Here is where you have to be more stubborn than her. You see, what she has learned in that short period of time is that "If I make a big enough fuss, Mom and Dad will give in to me, I will get my way". To show you that this will work, keep a journal. On night #1 write down what time you started, make a tick mark for every time you put him back to bed, and write down the time she fell asleep. Repeat nightly until you can just put her to bed and she stays there (remember, it doesn't matter if she falls asleep right away, really it matters that she stays in bed quietly, she can talk and sing to herself as much as she wants until she falls asleep..no books or movies, just her and her favorite sleeping toy). The reason to do this is when you're frustrated on day 3 or 4, you will see that it really is taking less time than it did on day one. Usually by day 3 or 4 they are good to go, but it may take 2 weeks..but it is only 2 weeks then you will have her sleeping fine!!! Serioulsly 2 weeks MAX!!! Vickey-MN

Oh my...this is tough...I know what I am about to say may get me some negative comments but I am prepared for them so here goes. If Dad won't set her straight, YOU need to do it. For 4 years I have been a stepmom to 3 while being a bio mom to 2 and I have gone to my DH the entire time begging him to help me hold the stepchildren accountable. I finally accepted last month that it was not going to happen. He is NOT going to step up. He may try for a day but most of what he actually does do is threaten a consequence and will not follow through. Honestly, my DH drives me crazy with his repeat warnings. He asks nicely for a child to clean their room...a few hours later when it's still trashed it's like "clean your room now!" They don't...so he says "I told you to clean your room now and if you don't you are going to be grounded!" They of course do nothing. Three days later he realizes that they never cleaned their room...so he starts the whole process over. When I remind him that he just told them they were going to have a consequence 3 days ago if they didn't do it, he just looks at me perplexed and says "But I didn't tell them yet TODAY." SS11's room is so disgustingly nasty that I worried about him playing and sleeping in there...so I gave up on DH and I laid down the law. This is my house, too. I don't need their room to be spotless but rotting food and dirty underwear all over the place is where I draw the line. BM sees them 4 days a month. DH says them about 30 minutes a day. I am the only thing that is constant in their lives and I'm done with waiting on DH and BM to be parents. So I look like the bad guy. Big deal. I am very lucky that my kids do tend to listen after having to face consequences consistently...so eventually they will conform... Just a few weeks ago I was mega concerned with always looking like the bad guy and my house was thoroughly trashed constantly. I came to a point where I was prepared to leave my DH because he just was not going to change. And forget BM siding with me on the nasty messes they were leaving. She would probably give them a high five for making messes that I had to clean. The day I realized that I had nothing to lose, I wised up and started being a disciplinarian. Things have changed in so many ways. Yea, I'm a little upset with DH that I have had to take over this role but that's okay for now...All 5 of the kids in this house suddenly have a sense of pride in making ME proud of them. I have never heard "Come and see how clean my room is!" more than I have in the last month...and of course they get praise every single time...Because of a change in behavior and meeting responsibilities, I have reintroduced night time snacks (special treat that I used to provide each and every night) and I hosted a sleepover with 3 of the kids friends over...Yes, EIGHT kids. I had 8 kids in my van, driving to the local civic center and to the store for snacks afterwards and kids were sleeping EVERYWHERE but the kids had a GREAT time. After their company left today, they cleaned the house up in better condition than it was the day before... Your SD needs consequences, guidance and tough love combined with praise and rewards for a job well done. If no one else is able to provide this, jump right in and take over it yourself. Of course, get DH's complete backing before you make this change...I had DH"s full support...it was easy enough to get...it meant he didn't have to do it! For 4 years, my fear was that the stepchildren would 1) tell mom on me for being parental and 2) tell mom lies and exaggerations about what was going on. I had to a adapt a "Who gives a damn?" attitude. If BM calls me and says "I hear you went through my daughter's clothes and took away all of spaghetti strap tops" I would just say "Yep. She just turned 14, and can't seem to learn how to wear them appropriately. I got tired of her showing half of her stuff and bending over in public where everyone could see everything she has so I took them and put them away. I also took the jeans that are too tight on her and the ones with holes in the rear end. You have a problem with that?" I have nothing to lose. My option is to leave...or go crazy. The kids NEED guidance and apparently BM and DH are too concerned with being a the "most popular parent." I won't be a pawn in this game because they are only hurting the kids...sadly they don't see that...