I say -- don't overthink it. I'm definitely an "I'll know it when I see it" person and it has served me well. Don't apologize for it. I really like your patinated chandelier, your comfortably used faucet (it's got some style!) the stove -- it's relaxed, no-fixed-decade. It's no time to get uptight about finishes! I'd say you have a good sense of your own style. TRUST IT. Don't choose a finish you don't like just "to be consistent" or because someone told you you have to. I have polished nickel, antique brass, new unlacquered brass, old filthy dirty brass, stainless steel, black forged iron -- and a few other things I can't remember in my kitchen. It all gets along. In fact the more things you put together, the better it works, because it's not like you have a big beige room with 23 satin nickel handles and one polished nickel one. You have a rich crazy quilt/gumbo of elements and no single dominant one, but your good taste has selected each, and they get along because you know when they don't. I agree with Circuspeanut that some finishes just attract too much attention to themselves, and they tend to be the more modern ones like satin nickel and ORB. But if you love them, and they work in your particular mix, then go for it. Did you look at the Schoolhouse Lighting custard line of shades? Just a thought. Something to consider is that Schoolhouse, and probably some other companies too, may have options not listed on their Web sites, and may be able to make you up a custom fixture. So if you see something on their site that is very close to what you want, but in just the wrong finish, or the chain isn't right, call or e-mail and ask if that thing can be changed. I did, and the cost was like $30 extra for my particular alteration. It's always worth asking. Good luck!

Whoa! Porn is adultery...Heck I though porn was a great tool to help keep actual adultery from happening...Whoa! What an easy way out...having a no porn clause... But uhh for real, anytime someone makes you question your sanity you should leave, unless you are like," I love you so much I feel crazy." Something like that is crazy, but constantly hearing you are soft minded will make you believe that you are, and that isn't right... Then again my husband is jealous and constantly accusing me of cheating or not wanting to be with him, and I literally never leave the house...ever. If I do happen to go somewhere--the store, the kids grandparents, anywhere other than home he will call me...frequently. I have gotten 3 or 4 calls in a couple of hours numerous times...He continually checks my phone, facebook, email, everything...It for real has made me not want to be with him anymore, and i tell him things, what your guy says to you. "it's all in your head, stop asking me that, so on and so forth..." Perhaps I am like your guy, and my husband feels like you do. I haven't ever cheated though... My husband has acted like this as long as I have known him. Really I should have never continued seeing him, but I did... Now I feel like it is too late most of the time... I do know that my husband being so freaking whiny needy and insecure all the time, has put me in the danger of cheating category...I'm not going to, but I find myself being attracted to other men these days. It didn't used to be an issue not cheating on him, but now I have to think about it...Could it be because he wore me down with all the constant worrying and asking and snooping and everything...I don't know. But your guy is actively cheating often by your description, so you either have to stay knowing that he is stepping out with other ladies...(because you know he is)... and if you can't he happy with sharing him, then go out and find someone that is happy with just you. I feel like some people are incapable of being monogamous... and those people belong with other people with the same views...You can't put a person that needs 3 people to make them happy at any given time, and pair them with someone that needs only one person to fill their hearts. Unless you actually only need 1/4 of that one person's heart...Because if you are sharing your partner you are not getting the full time and attention of one person...so true monogamists can not really be with "Social" monogamists. Which basically means you have this one person that you want to spend your life with, but there may be other people from time to time that you want to sleep with just because of some sort of physical thing, but still wish to be with and love that one person that you spend your life with... Sounds like you got with a social monogamist. He wants to be with you, but also other people from time to time, for nothing serious. You are his serious person...So I guess think about whether that is something you can deal with or be interested in. Then you would remain married per your beliefs, you could set some sort of rules on these extramarital affairs, and perhaps you might enjoy having the same freedoms, which obviously this goes against your beliefs, but it is one of the ways to stay with this husband you have... Do you want it to work as it is, or do you want him to be a whole new person that he has shown you repeatedly he can not be? That you knew he wasn't before marrying him? If you want a truly monogamous marriage, then go find a husband that truly wants the same...but make sure to give them awhile to show their true colors...A lot of people claim to be monogamous, but they are claiming such because they know it is the right answer, but not how they actually feel...so give adequate time and opportunity for cheating, and if none occurs, then you may have found someone just as interested in being with only one person as you yourself are...if you are? Just mull it over.

I am also not in the matchy-matchy camp, but IMO two matching pieces does not put you in that camp! I had a similar situation last fall where we were looking for a TV console/stand and I was determined to get something interesting and different, but I couldn't find the right size. I have nothing that "matches" in my entire first floor (even though, IMO, all my stuff works well together for the most part). But to make a long story short, we ended up ordering a TV console and a matching bookcase (for the other side of the room) from Stickley. I was almost upset about it, even though I loved both pieces! But they're in the room now and I don't feel like the room looks too matchy. I have mismatched end tables, a mismatched coffee table, none of the seating came from the same place... etc. BTW I happen to have the Ballard Durham end table and I love it! It's in the same room as my two "matchy" items!

This thread is leading to unexpected places. We've noticed the relationship between our childhood experiences and our life style or homelife now. And, Flgargoyle is so right to note that you have to balance the elements of a very organized exacting profession with a home style that gives you some breathing room. In my case, working as a librarian for years and years, and being called upon for very proper and perfect language use, I would revert at home to using AIN'T etc. In my home, especially after I began work as a boat captain, I needed to have something alive around me. I began to indulge my passion for container plants. Never have liked fake plants. Over the years, I killed a lot of plants by leaving them outside during the months I was away at work on the oil field boats. These days, I have some favorite container plants that I drag with me, just like the parrots and the dogs, when I travel from Alabama to Massachusetts. I love to use live plants inside the house as part of my decorating. Better something alive around me than another piece of furniture. Right now, I am up north and the plants I could not bring with me for the stay, they are in good hands with a "babysitter." Ever since the show HOARDERS came on TV, I've been questioning myself about clutter. At what point does it become too much. My efforts to keep the house safe to walk around in, find stored items easily, and enjoy the things we have.....that is important to me. I'm not a neat freak. Things don't have to be high dollar, because I enjoy things which are rather primitive or old and abused. I like to have space around things so they will stand out. I also like to have enough storage that I can cycle accessories in and out of the rooms, and they will each have a time to star.