Instead of searching for "a" color or "a" brand maybe you should try searching for a professional colorist. a.k.a. Color Consultant, Color Designer, and don't forget about color tinters who work behind the counter. You have a very fun challenge for the right person. If you can find the right color pro, they will help you. Otherwise, I'd simply suggest methodically moving from one brand to another; it's really just a matter of trial and error. Because what I perceive to be the color of a ball of string is probably different from what you're envisioning.

Lisa brings up a good point about color usage: You can be a great gardener, as in grower of plants, or a great cook, and not have a great color sense. The clown barf pansies sound like "guy design" to me. The term is not a put down of male designers, many of whom are excellent. It's an acknowledgment that things that are appealing to non-designer guys (some of whom are female) can give the rest of us nightmares. And there are also the "differently-sighted". There are a few different versions of what eye conformation that alter color perception. People who don't see like the majority put together some things that look frightful to people who don't have the same perceptual rules.

I think it would look good to have a rust-colored, patterned rug (wool if possible!) and neutral walls. Check out these Benjamin Moore colors and see what you think: “Balboa Mist”, “Sheep’s Wool”, “Collingwood”, “Classic Gray” I wouldn’t do an accent wall, but I am confused by your fireplace, and how the stone stops underneath the mantel. Perhaps consider a simplified mantel that wouldn’t leave a gap there - just a chunky beam all the way across. Then choose a chunky wood coffee table that coordinates with your mantel. And add a large basket for throw blankets, which will add texture/softness. Perhaps charcoal flat Roman shades for your windows? Hope those ideas are helpful!

It depends on what you are applying the brass finish to. For most applications, I think RubNBuff looks more authentic then spray paint.