What an interesting discussion!

I'd like to ask about something that hasn't been discussed in detail-specifically, in your relationship who handles the 'management' of your household life?

I'm referring to all of what's been called the invisible labor of running a household. I'm sure many women are familiar with this family iceberg-who notices when something is running out, who remembers what family members only eat X and who despises Y and buys accordingly, who plans meals, who notices and buys clothes for family members, who makes sure the credit card and property tax and insurance bills get paid and tax records are in order to do the annual calculations, who manages how household members' health care needs are taken care of (from regular physicals to dr visits for illness to figuring out who to see for a mystery symptom), who calls or figures out who to call for household repairs, who is in charge of scheduling a couple/family's social life including family gatherings and holidays, who makes school and activity choices for kids and veterinarian care choices for fur kids, who does retirement planning.....

Maybe I've missed an understood theme, but haven't seen this explicitly addressed so far. I'm *assuming* that in relationships in which there is generally a 'I handled the house/he handled the outside/work life' the answer may skew towards the house partner handling the family related aspects and the work/outside partner handling the financial/long term planning

But I could be wrong! In our marriage I have and do take care of all of the above. We both were always employed (now retired), and he was and is responsible for 'outside' chores, home maintenance/repair and daily trash and pet care.

Otherwise I manage our lives and over the years I've come to regret taking it all on; both my son and daughter seem to have much more egalitarian relationships and IMO life is the better for that.

I take back one thing I said above. DH always planned our son's dental and orthodontist appointments. He always took him, so he always made the next appointments. For whatever reason, I always took son to the medical appointments and made those.

I know I am lucky that my DH has no preconceptions about traditional roles. He is willing to do anything even if it is considered 'woman's work' by some. We laughed when we were on a cruise recently and he was into trying a different cocktail with dinner each night. One night he ordered a cosmopolitan which neither of us have ever had. We are not big drinkers and really have no clue about cocktails. After he ordered it, he said I think some consider that a girl's drink. Well, it was a very girly pink color. He didn't care at all and drank it happily.

I also understand how other men are not like this. I was previously married to one a million years ago. He could not be bothered to clean up after himself. I would ask him to please put his clothes in the hamper instead of leaving on the floor. Didn't ask him to do the laundry. Just put the dirty clothes in the hamper. Would go on a tirade about how he wasn't going to live in a sterile house. Um, just pick up your damn dirty clothes! Needless to say, that marriage didn't last (for many reasons).

When dating the current, long lasting (29 years today!) DH and we decided to get married I had to have a talk with him. I saw his apartment. I'd been living alone (with my young daughter) for a few years at that point and was very happy that my home was how I liked it. Organized and clean. I explained to him that I would not be able to live in a home like his apartment. His response - your way is good; my way is bad; we'll do it your way. I knew I'd made a smart choice! My mom was always amazed at how he cleaned up after dinner. My dad, and my previous H, certainly never did that.

I remember my mom and my aunts talking after they had all been widowed and saying how the old men who had lost their wives were all out looking for another wife to take care of them, but the old ladies who had lost a husband were in no hurry to take on the work of another husband. Been there, done that.

The talk here is not exactly the eclipse, but how to get eclipse glasses. I ordered a couple pair from A at a ridiculous price. Glad it has turned out to be a sunny day here although we’re not in the totality.

Imagine an earthquake and an eclipse all in one week! Astounding.

Beautiful rooms! Perfect blend of elegant and comfortable.

Very nice! Love the new bed & chaise.

I don’t think anyone ever said farmers markets are cheaper. You get fresh produce, home baked goods, fresh eggs, etc. These items are not always found at the grocery stores. I am willing to pay more for a big juicy tomato vs a small, hatd hard-as-a-rock hot house tomato that some stores carry.

My brother lives right in ECLIPSE!!! central and we were just texting about how the eclipse and the earthquake and the ship crashing into the bridge are ginning up the crazies.

This keeps popping up in ads and I have actually been considering it for myself…https://www.saksoff5th.com/product/longchamp-printed-leather-trim-tote-0400020100849.html?dwvar_0400020100849_color=ANTIQUE_PINK

Well, I'm basically in his side bc I'm from NY too. Bagels too. 😄

I can't seem to tag @Jilly

“It’s the water in NY that makes the dough good!”

~ DH, Every. Single. Time. We. Get. Pizza

My very first time visiting NYC, attending a conference, at the reception I really wanted to fill my water bottle that had been depleted on my flight. We have fabulous water in the PNW and I couldn't quite imagine drinking tap water in such a huge and old city as NYC. I asked someone if it was ok to drink the tap water and OMG!! You would have thought I had called her mother a dirty name, lol. Did I ever get a lecture (NY style) about the quality of NYC water and the lake (??). I'm sure I drank it, but don't recall, however the reaction and the lecture are seared into my soul!

Also, I missed seeing you here, and are we just going to pretend you weren’t on a trip?

How was it??

Thanks, Ally, how nice of you.

We often see eagles along our river drive, sometimes above the adjacent bluff, and rarely, rarely above our acreage. The afternoon Molly died, I was standing above her already tarped body, Cisco grazing nearby, absolutely bereft. (DH had a Court appearance in an adjacent state as bad luck would have it.) Then I looked up, and far above our pastures, I saw an eagle fly down the entire treeline.

By the way, should you doubt that animals experience emotions, you have not watched a horse grieving a lost pasturemate.

DH was with me, thank God, on Cisco's day. The two of us stood holding hands afterwards, absolutely wordless. Then, we both looked up as not one, but two, eagles, appeared and soared down the treeline, disappearing into the sky above the neighbor's cropland. "That's Molly", my husband said. "Come to bring Cisco home."

I tried to post this twice; I guess one video per post, tho I see Annie has two?

Horses and their cats or is it cats and their horses?

Horses and cats reminded me of one of my favorite ads ever:

Sushi, I wonder if she knows you are in this area now. She might have wanted to see you, too.

We’ve had some fun meetups over the years. Kswl, maybe it will work out to meet with you.

I got a Corvette for my 30 th birthday. it was a surprise from my husband who really wanted it for himself and used my birthday as an excuse. That car was fun but kind of impractical with two kids, a dog and six bags of groceries. I also had an old station wagon.

I am getting up in years and only regret the things I didnt do because I felt they were frivolous. If younwant it and can afford it, go ahead and get it. I will say when I left mine in a parking lot, I crossed my fingers that it would still be there when i got back.

Thank you, Kitchenwitch. Along those lines, DH made a suggestion. I usually sit in the windowseat or on the sofa with windows overlooking the pasture. He suggested that I choose the recliner for awhile. That gives me an entirely different perspective. (That's Minnesota on the far horizon to the left, and our pup, who is recovering from eye surgery on the sofa.)

When I was a kid watching Man From UNCLE I wanted to be a spy when I grew up. I can't keep a secret to save my life, so it would have been a very short career!

I just caught up on NCIS, and he was making an appearance right up to the last episode. I was wondering about his age since he was looking less vigorous. I'll have to go back to be sure, but I think in one of the last episodes they name checked Ilya Kuryakin again. ( I also had a crush on him back then - I was in 7th grade IIRC).

I was a kid when he was in the Man From UNCLE. He gave me the heebee jeebees. I never understood why but never watched anything with him after that. RIP Mr McCallum.