Just got another Restoration Hardware Catalogue Disaster in the mail. I was, and rarely am, speechless.
I have now recovered, as you shall see.
STILL unsure what happened to this brand! 2023 articles say the CEO blamed brand problems on sourcing and a too aggressive pricing strategy. The company won a lawsuit against knockoff manufacturers. Unknown at current time if this company is still in the red.
Is the list above really the problem?
Ohhhhh, methinks something is rotten in Denmark, so they put it on boats and shipped it here. The style, anyhow. Hygge Despair. This stuff is made in China. STILL NOT THE PROBLEM.
These are worst furniture designs in high end.
That Worst:
Where this once innovative company offered modern, streamlined versions of classic Shaker standard pieces, the aesthetic ? Can we call it that? — now seems simply Teenage Incel Fantasy Furniture! desperate, almost—Austin-Powers-slash-(oh i tried to avoid Latin c u m here)-dank-bachelor-pad-dream nightmare!
It cannot be mixed with American classic.
And the children’s furniture!
Who would EVER put children in a visual environment so bleak?
No colors, no varied textures, no visual stimulation, no … it cannot be stopped. But some of it looks like livestock cages, right down to prison bar crib! Is your child even visible behind these pieces? Is your child allowed crayons?!
The Near-Nonexistent Best:
There is none.
And if that was an oxymoron — ox Y moron — it can only be topped by the Byron Daybed.
This piece appears to have the visual tonnage of an ox AND drunk morons will mistake it for a sauna.
Bryon Daybed. Lord Byron, the Greatest Incel of Them All, the exception who proved the rule, the poet who decided: Why leave the house for the Greatest of Social Activities Given to Civil Men? Make the baby at home with the half-sister! Daybed indeed, the oxymoronic frolicker … just … just … splutter …
Great.
Must we be PLAGUED by waves of upscaled Eurotrash trendiness?
There is NO American equivalent to Austin Powers for a reason, or Lord Byron, or anything in between, for a reason! Not even our new uber-tech robber-baron villains lounge around on this stuff!
It’s not that I am immune to great literature, by the way. The man had a way with words, but divvil take the hindermost back across the sea!
Also, please forgive me, England and UKers. And we forgive YOU for reviving mod. It’s not your fault. You live too close to the mothership sun (Nordlandia) not to get burned.
Keep the early Belgian slope pieces, likewise the earliest bureau styles, (reupholster the first, alter the top of the latter so as to disguise RH) but I beg of you! do not buy any line from the last 5 years! It costs a fortune, and most humans cannot tolerate this too spare, adolescent aesthetic at the two-year-later mark.
Your client is left defrauded with ALMOST NO RESALE, so …
DO NOT recommend or purchase for clients.
Ladies! We must defer and gracefully steer them toward — even Victorian Badhouse if you must, but anything else!
Opinions from other decorators and clients have agreed: This furniture looks as though it was created for aging cokeheads, incels, angry giants, and/or heavy duty hospital/triage use—all to be easily cleaned of toxic fluid discharge!
Don’t walk away, just RUN!
And for the love of … more splutter … for the millionth time RH … take me OFF the mailing list!
(Thanks Houzzers, forgive the rant! This is a war for the Soul of American Style!)
Just got another Restoration Hardware Catalogue Disaster in the mail. I was, and rarely am, speechless.
I have now recovered, as you shall see.
STILL unsure what happened to this brand! 2023 articles say the CEO blamed brand problems on sourcing and a too aggressive pricing strategy. The company won a lawsuit against knockoff manufacturers. Unknown at current time if this company is still in the red.
Is the list above really the problem?
Ohhhhh, methinks something is rotten in Denmark, so they put it on boats and shipped it here. The style, anyhow. Hygge Despair. This stuff is made in China. STILL NOT THE PROBLEM.
These are worst furniture designs in high end.
That Worst:
Where this once innovative company offered modern, streamlined versions of classic Shaker standard pieces, the aesthetic ? Can we call it that? — now seems simply Teenage Incel Fantasy Furniture! desperate, almost—Austin-Powers-slash-(oh i tried to avoid Latin c u m here)-dank-bachelor-pad-dream nightmare!
It cannot be mixed with American classic.
And the children’s furniture!
Who would EVER put children in a visual environment so bleak?
No colors, no varied textures, no visual stimulation, no … it cannot be stopped. But some of it looks like livestock cages, right down to prison bar crib! Is your child even visible behind these pieces? Is your child allowed crayons?!
The Near-Nonexistent Best:
There is none.
And if that was an oxymoron — ox Y moron — it can only be topped by the Byron Daybed.
This piece appears to have the visual tonnage of an ox AND drunk morons will mistake it for a sauna.
Bryon Daybed. Lord Byron, the Greatest Incel of Them All, the exception who proved the rule, the poet who decided: Why leave the house for the Greatest of Social Activities Given to Civil Men? Make the baby at home with the half-sister! Daybed indeed, the oxymoronic frolicker … just … just … splutter …
Great.
Must we be PLAGUED by waves of upscaled Eurotrash trendiness?
There is NO American equivalent to Austin Powers for a reason, or Lord Byron, or anything in between, for a reason! Not even our new uber-tech robber-baron villains lounge around on this stuff!
It’s not that I am immune to great literature, by the way. The man had a way with words, but divvil take the hindermost back across the sea!
Also, please forgive me, England and UKers. And we forgive YOU for reviving mod. It’s not your fault. You live too close to the mothership sun (Nordlandia) not to get burned.
Keep the early Belgian slope pieces, likewise the earliest bureau styles, (reupholster the first, alter the top of the latter so as to disguise RH) but I beg of you! do not buy any line from the last 5 years! It costs a fortune, and most humans cannot tolerate this too spare, adolescent aesthetic at the two-year-later mark.
Your client is left defrauded with ALMOST NO RESALE, so …
DO NOT recommend or purchase for clients.
Ladies! We must defer and gracefully steer them toward — even Victorian Badhouse if you must, but anything else!
Opinions from other decorators and clients have agreed: This furniture looks as though it was created for aging cokeheads, incels, angry giants, and/or heavy duty hospital/triage use—all to be easily cleaned of toxic fluid discharge!
Don’t walk away, just RUN!
And for the love of … more splutter … for the millionth time RH … take me OFF the mailing list!
(Thanks Houzzers, forgive the rant! This is a war for the Soul of American Style!)
❤️